up in 'dem california GUTS

californication premiere sucked. but it may just be a setup for a season, so we won't judge it yet as a legit episode.

entourage continues its streak.

GUTS is back--in some form. so far, positive reviews, although i haven't seen it.

and how have we forgotten to mention man bites dog? best missed show on TV since stella. check it out on itunes.

RIP Nick GAS

:'(

chiggidy chiggidy chizance.

there you go. a high school male; truly the worst ever.
in every event he could screw up he did.
in the two events he did not get last, it was because of others' faults, not because of his successes.

http://www.reinverlad.com/index.html
read that.

for an explanation, read...
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/business/orl-eola0306mar03,0,3740057.story?coll=orl-business-utility

...THIS is why we blog.

CHANCE1@$!@#!@#!@%@#$!

ladies and gents-
as i am typing this, 9:52pm pst on friday, october the 12, two thousand seven, CHANCE is on nick gas. chance "the gator" gordy. the greatest guts ever, featuring the worst contestant of all time. i've got it set to keep until i delete on tivo, so expect an upload here soon.
more on this later.

mike azzinaro (blue) v justin bellucci (red) v nathan welch (purple), also known as mike o'malley's wet dream

what a freakin' episode. this is what guts is made for. you could see the excitement in mike's face from the instant the game started--games like this are the reason he gets up in the morning. three real athletes hungry for a glowing piece of that radical rock.

event one: off the wall.
mike (in blue)'s first jump is directly in the center of the wall. it is possible that he knocked off more balls with that one jump than any other single jump in guts' off the wall history has. he now, however, has a huge gap in the center of the wall and cannot really make efficient use of his remaining time with any of his following jumps since there are no sectors big enough to be worthwhile. on top of this, he has continuous trouble getting back on the aerial bridge.
the event ends, and seemingly out of nowhere, justin has only 2 of his 50 balls left on the wall. 48/50. that is an unreal score. unquestionably the best score i've ever seen. the replay reveals why: he attacked the game perfectly. he went at the wall in a well-designed pattern and used every jump to its fullest. a near-flawless execution.
nathan finishes with 33 and mike with 26--also two of the highest scores i have ever seen.
justin's post-event interview reveals that this will most probably be the high point of his life.

justin 300
nathan 200
mike 100

for 14-year-old mike "boom boom" azzinaro, guts = being a contender

event two: wild pitch.
for the pre-even explanation, mike asks us to imagine the following pitcher(s) (this should be noted every time this--or any other baseball game--is played):
roger clemens

nathan and mike both seem to know that contact is key--they pick up on the nearly-unbeatable bunt technique, but nathan before mike. justin shows the world that he is indeed a competent baseball player, but skill in a sport doesn't always translate to the guts game that is derived from that sport. besides just employing the bunt technique before mike, nathan seemed to have better concentration while in the batter's box. he finishes with a commanding 19, handily defeating mike's 10 and justin's (quite respectable for non-bunting) 7.

for 13-year-old justing "terminator b" bellucci, guts = combat
what the hell is that? terminator b? was that really necessary? and one of the worst guts='s i've seen in a while.

event three: mad max.
mike's pre-rule description:
well, combat's good for our next event, because our next event is a post-nuclear race that really gets in your face. it's "mad max": a frantic dash through all sorts of terrain! --look out for the stray tires LETS GO TO MO FOR THE RULES--MO!

they used the prop-master's self-powered-tail-lights bike for this one. not exactly the best use of these three athletes, but, still, a fun and rare event-type never hurts an episode.
in a weird foreshadowing, mike warns about taking the course too fast right before justin goes. justin naturally goes too quickly and loses control, both costing him off-the-track penalties and forcing him to run into the side of the crash finish instead of through it at first. again--his 48/50 was indeed the high point of his life. it was all down hill from there.

nathan takes first with 17.5 seconds, mike second with 18.9, and justin third with a generous 26.6.

nathan 800
mike 500
justin 500

for 13-year-old "notorious" nathan welch, guts = controversy (which mo pronounces conTROversy [as opposed to CONtroversy])

event four: jump jump!

the dreaded fourth hurdle. for some reason, people never have problems with the second (although sometimes they miss the first--and usually they miss the second--aerial bridge) hurdle, even though in theory they should be equally as challenging. i guess it's a rhythm thing.
mike starts and as predicted does incur 5 second penalty for knocking down the fourth hurdle. 23 seconds even.
justin looks fantastic up until the first aerial bridge and then gets overexcited, coming off too fast. he winds up overshooting the third hurdle and he finds himself taking the fourth too quickly. he can't back out, and he crashes directly into it. he forgets that the game is not over, though, and lethargically hangs for almost a full second before trying to finish. 24.7.
nathan has trouble with the first bridge and gets spotter help. he too knocks the fourth hurdle down, and finishes with 45.6 (including the hurdle and two five-second assistant penalties).

going into the crag we have an unreal game. baring missed actuators we're in for one helluva ride.
nathan 900
mike 800
justin 700

as predicted, the crag is a memorable one. all three handle boulder canyon like it's child's play. three athletes at the peak shape of their guts-eligible lives scale our rock in near-perfect sync. they reach the final vertical-climb at nearly the same exact time--the entire game comes down to this. nathan reaches the top first, right as justin is slipping. he falls and mike takes advantage of the opportunity. he jumps ahead of justin to claim second.

nathan 1625
mike 1350
justin 1075

one of the greatest games i've ever seen played.

quick guts notes...

1) who came up with the idea to call the first hurdle on the 'crag "boulder canyon," and how exactly did it happen? is it an o'malley contribution that stuck? or were there meetings about this?

2) we want to put together a guts record book (after a performance we saw today that we will discuss later--we're still breaking down footage). we're going to create a poster with all the event names and keep track of the best scores we see. it will probably take a full year or more of constant guts watching before we're ready to call it official, but we're ready for the challenge.

Poker

Mike O'Malley is playing in the 2007 World Series of Poker main event...the dollars have SKY ROCKETED for this event!!!

Moira Quirk standup

What do we think about this?

in search of chance...

after the viacom cease and desist order was placed on youtube a few months back, i lost my favorite video of all time: worst guts contestant ever. it featured a young man named chance who was--by all accounts--truly the worst ever (even though he didn't finish in third...). if anyone knows where i can find this again, please let me know.

GUTS: nikki stewart (blue) v bianca alaimo (red) v t.j. simmons (purple)

a blow by blow account of one of today's games

event one: aerial (elastic), rebound--

tj is suffering from the same fate as most males in the typical male/female/female game: weighing noticeably less than the females, victory in an elastic event is almost impossible. at the end, though, he seemed to notice this, and in a cut-off-the-nose-to-spite-the-face move, he began playing defense.

bianca's interview? she talks about the balls slipping out of her hands. no credit to t.j. despite his pathetic zero-rebound performance, i'm predicting victory for him.

biancia 300
nikki 200
t.j. 100

for 14-year-old "tricky nikki" stewart, guts=equality

event two: track (running), tornado run--

this one was extremely close, but again t.j. suffered from slow-development male woes. his upperbody strength (or lack thereof) got to him in the vines climb. another third place finish for him. having them run against each other instead of against the clock is always interesting to see.

bianca 600
nikki 400
t.j. 200

for 13-year-old bianca "the barbarian" alaimo, guts=uninhibited

event three: pool, hang 10--

nikki's up first. she's concentrating too much on hanging onto the board and not paying enough attention to the bouyies. still, she collected seven, but she could have benefited from using her hands more to maneuver herself.

bianca is second. she is using her stomach to hold on--as she should--and she is letting her arms do the dirty work. perfectly executed, she finishes with eight and takes the lead going into the last contestant's turn. this will be difficult for t.j. to match.

t.j. third. the determination in his eyes is fierce. he is using the right technique, but it is obvious that he is running out of stamina. he stayed still in the water at the end, practically giving up. six.

bianca 900
nikki 600
t.j. 300

t.j. needs to pick it up majorly in this last event if he even wants a shot at second.

for 12-year-old t.j. simmons, guts=living (yeah, right)

event four: field (elastic), fumble--

again, t.j. is suffering from being too young and too light. he can't even reach the footballs. still, though, it is obvious that he is the best pure athlete of the three, and he may take it home. nikki's lack of lower body strength is getting to her, but she picked it up at the end to finish with 5. bianca had 4, and t.j. finished in first with 10. he's back in the game.

bianca 1000
nikki 800
t.j. 600

THE AGGRO CRAG

i'm predicting a t.j. victory. ehrin is saying t.j. as well, since he's been picking up his game at the end. andy is also going with t.j. but notes that he seems like the type to miss an actuator. still, a second place finish is in his future.

bianca and t.j. handle boulder canyon very well, but bianca gets caught up in the snow. nikki is doing fantastically, but the rocks didn't fall, so it implies that she missed an actuator. wait--t.j. did as well! he finishes in third, nikki overcomes her miss and gets first, and bianca, who also missed one, finishes in second.
all three missing actuators? is that acceptable? it's a good thing the crag troll (as mike called the judge) was there to let them know.

bianca 1550
nikki 1525
t.j. 975

t.j. is an extreme disappointment. he can't even climb down the crag, so he almost misses the awards ceremony. pathetic. if anyone knows where we can find him on fbook or myspace, please post. he deserves hate mail.