for us, GUTS = a means to an end

jussum updatez

2009-11-23T11:52:00.000-08:00

curb finished last night, perhaps for good. if it was, it was the perfect series finale (granted, i didn't watch most of the series...yet.). not the funniest episode, but great closure for seinfeld fans (even if the actual seinfeld episode sucked, and the only good part was the rewrite that didn't actually get to air). i'm surprised they didn't address cheryl sucking, though. and larry as george was amazing.
last week's was also a week episode, but also good for cannon, and had the funniest moment of the season with duperstein.

south park is unreal this season.

sunny's pretty damn good, too, but starting to feel the tiniest bit stale.

dexter is a terribly put together show, but lithgow is amazing, and the show is still captivating. it's just sooo overdone, though.

friday night lights doesn't have the nostalgia of season 1, but is still amazing.

the office: is DM going under? my guess is that they get taken over by vance refrigeration, and all are given jobs there, with phyllis as the new boss (that's the only limitation to that plot idea, but it could work to their advantage).

californication also isn't having its best days, but i'm yet to watch this week's. we'll see.

'da zeitgeist

2009-11-06T12:57:00.000-08:00

i'd love to make aggro a regular thing again. we'll see.

a few quick updates, before the real post:

-amazing south park season so far.

-sunny has been fantastic (besides the product placement ep, which still had its bright spots). it's a show that's begging to get old quickly, but it's not--it's saying extremely fresh. much respect for that writing staff.

-john lithgow is amazing in dexter. the season as a whole is okay.

-californication is constantly evolving and constantly good. hank's just too good of a character. he's our generation's don draper. and they fulfilled my boyhood fantasy of seeing the girl from saved! naked. ahhhhhh...tv nudity.

-mad men. i don't even need to go there. we all know it's the best.

-friday night lights season is too young for judgment (i only watched the first ep so far, and i was distracted. ep 2 coming immediately after this post.) UPDATE: how did i not see this before...it's district 5 and banks all over again. the miiiighty ducks!

-degrassi might as well be called the next next generation now. i'm digging this set of characters, but i find it hard to believe that some of them are who they play (for instance, the blond nerdy girl whose name i always forget [darcy's sister, i think? claire?] wouldn't get the guy with the temper problem whose name i also always forget).

-i've always had a problem with curb your enthusiasm's improv, and have never been able to get past the first episode or two of season one, but i'm giving this season a try and loving it. the weakest part by far is the seinfeld reunion (the first time they're all seen together again on the set is the most anti-climatic reunion i've ever seen). hysterical show, though, even if it is often annoying.

-the office is no longer a comedy, but it's still a good show.

and now, on to the post.

if you're looking for a tangible way to understand zeitgeist, look no further than your television at 3am. we haven't seen infomercials this popular since amazing discoveries, and we can actually track their progression into the zeitgeist. the magic bullet at 2am in college, snuggy on 30 rock (or so i'm told), billy mayes's death...infomercial hosts were this halloween's joker. they're officially something to be mentioned in "i love 2009."

and if you've never seen shop erotic, tivo it at least once.

smallville

2009-05-31T15:40:00.001-07:00

in preparation for the summer gig, i've been watching all of smallville, beginning to end (i'm currently staring at a paused frame from episode 7.14). i was a fan of the show when it started, but hadn't partaken in a while. to my (mild) surprise, the show's is fantastic. they do an incredible job blending genres, and constantly keep the origin story interesting. it has its annoying procedural elements, and often is full of horrible acting, but when its at its best (seasons 2-6) it is a wondefully crafted almost-greek tragedy with multiple parallel, illuminating narratives about heros' journies, father/son relationships, and love. episode 5.12 is one of the best i've ever seen on tv.

another impressive feat worth mentioning is that the show has managed to keep dramatic irony interesting this entire time. i know who's going to live and who's going to die (for the most part), yet i am still gripped at every moment. ...and those damn d.i. jokes still haven't gotten old. now, let's just see if my opinion changes once i get to the disowned seasons, post gough + milar...

school's out for summah!

2009-05-31T15:37:00.000-07:00

as the minute hand clicks its way to 3:37, then back to 3:36, and then finally to 3:38 for the final bell of the school year, aggrocrag (the sentient blog) salivates at the idea of being given attention once again. so here's my vow to do so. ...and to bring content of actual significance. so with that, let us begin...

ahhhhhhhh

2009-03-12T14:14:00.000-07:00

jesus christ, graduate school--stop killing all my blogs!

of course, all it takes is a new south park season (and maybe some spring break) to bring us back into action.
after the controversy surrounding their potential display of the profit mohammad, i'm shocked south park got away with displaying the american profit mickey without us hearing about it beforehand. notorious for their rapidity in suing anyone who displays a trademark in any sort of way (example: preschools), disney is sure to get a bit annoyed over south park's anti-christian, hitler-meets-napoleon version of their iconic anthropomorph. but maybe the higher-ups at mouse will realize any law suit will just fuel matt n' trey's fire; maybe this will go ignored.
either way--brilliant comeback with very littler cartman is a good sign for things to come. let's see where this goes next.

that malcolm thing, described below, will come eventually--i just need to wait for the cycle to reset.

i've moved on to the shield now (almost done with season 3), and am catching up with dexter (half way through 2). both are very strong. mad men as well.

the new season of degrassi has been fantastic. and flight of the conchords s2 is kicking the living crap out of s1, which is an impressive feat.

east bound and down: weak first three episodes, although you could see something good was brewing. amazing fourth episdoe. david gordon mothaffffffudgin green.

24's new season has been almost as good as the first three, and the last episode was one of the best yet. they've finally taken it back to where it needs to be.

tim and eric have outdone themselves 50-fold this season.

best show you're not watching: deeper throat. showtime porn reality show about remaking the 70s classic.

breaking bad season 2. cued up on my tivo....NOW.

puck you, miss!

2008-12-08T11:04:00.001-08:00

ok, okay, oh kay--i've been a bit slow at updating lately. but you try doing this grad school thing. and the other bloggers haven't shown their faces in years. so there will be more coming. including a mini-essay on malcom in the middle. and by "mini-essay" i more mean "missive." but something. not yet, but soon.

for now, let me just tackle californicatin's finalie, which really was more like a season 3 finalie, with season 2's finalie being the second to last episode. seriously--they skipped an entire season of plot and just gave us the wrap up, but it would have been a kind of boring season, so i'm glad they did. still--quite a long progression. it'll be interesting to see where they go with this, because right now it seems extremely predictable (meaning going anywhere else that's sensible and good will be very impressive and welcomed).

in other news, henry jenkis is coming to usc. BOI!

what what whaaaaa?!?!!

2008-11-10T09:28:00.000-08:00

obviously last week's south park must be discussed. and that odd but amusing it's always sunny should be mentioned (and now has been). but first--

summer heights high. worst advertising campaign of all time, but a rare free half hour on sunday led me to watching, and i was blown away. the best mocumentary style show yet, perfectly capturing these personalities. possibly the best pilot i've ever seen. start watching if you aren't.

and 'park. less than 24 hour turn around? how'd they do that? my guess: they assumed obama was going to win (and figured if he didn't they'd just do the episode anyways and bite the bullet?), made the episode's shell, and fought like hell to get the details in in time. whatever the case, a great episode.

and entourage continues like it's been all season. awesome.

my apologies that this blog has become only about two or three shows. more to come as soon as there's time.

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod...

2008-11-05T10:08:00.000-08:00

lots to update.

first: WE HAVE A NEW PRESIDENT COME JANUARY AND IT'S THE RIGHT ONE.

a few years ago, when time/newsweek/otherfakeishnewsmagazine came out with a barak cover and the question: is he our next president, i remember being ecstatic that the question could even be asked. never could i have dreamed that the answer would be yes. thank god, america. faith is restored.

now, on to the show.

the last two episodes of the office have been unreal good. so, so awkward, yet so perfect. they've gotten back to their roots by moving on--if that makes sense.

entourage: another two great ones. ari handled the offer semi-perfectly (i'd have liked to have seen him take the job, but this works, too), and smokejumpers has the makings of a great arc. and all of the characters have for the first time in the show's history REALLY hit their strides. let's see how this all plays out.

south park. two weeks ago: abysmal. confusing as all hell. as a huge pan flute comedy fan (check my track record), i found this to be a terrible use of a potentially brilliant set piece. and stan's dad? but it was all just a setup for one of the most brilliant episodes of the past few years. bravo. all i couldn't understand--why send the kids to peru? why not just send them somewhere else? or kill them? if you know craig's the key, why even put him in the same country as the lock? amazing, though.

it's always sunny. rob thomas and sinbad's episode was just kind of confusing--the least sensible one yet (which is saying a lot), but still hysterical. last week's, however, with the mail room jobs and dee's heart attack, is among the best ever. it was politically poignant ("we don't have government provided health care in this country?! what is this, socialism?") and hysterical (charlie, as per usual, was unreal).

24's on its way back, as is breaking bad. --or breaking bad might already be back, actually. i really should be more on top of all this.

entourage...

2008-10-20T12:47:00.001-07:00

and entourage? oh BOY entourage. he's not going to take the offer, but he should...

snl

2008-10-20T12:42:00.001-07:00

i haven't enjoyed an snl episode in years, but living with ben kramer you can't help but catch an episode or two every so often. the season premiere was perhaps the worst of all time, but this past week's actually made me laugh. raging liberal alec baldwin had a chance to say all he wanted to sarah palin's face (whose appearance should barely even be considered an appearance, although seeing her attempt to dance during weekend update was priceless), mcgruber was a hysterical allegory, and a pierre escargot-inspired kenan pseudo frenchman made an appearance. i was a bit shocked, however, how frequently they referenced the terrible economy--an attempt to influence palin fans who were watching? or just rubbing it in the face of americans saving money by staying home this saturday with their families?

reDOMption, south park e2, it's always sunny kidnapping

2008-10-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

the unwelcome return of dom to entourage--even if it was a sendoff--comes in the middle of the most formulaic episode of this otherwise stellar season. back to the e/vince turtle/drama mode, which they thankfully (like with dom) cut the ties with before it got too far. i'll mark this one up to doug ellen doing a friend from home a favor (at the wga he said dom, who basically plays himself, was getting heckled on the street because of his "character." the title says it all...), and we'll move on...

south park's second of the season (breast cancer) is among the best of all time. they returned to the bare bone of their strength and made an episode about the innerworkings of eric cartman. it felt...real. for the first time in a long time.

...which is the exact pattern i've been expressing fear it's always sunny was falling into, but tonight's--the first without devito since he started--dispelled that notion. the indian neighbor's arch was perfect.

a good week for television on the whole.

true bood, entourage

2008-10-10T18:26:00.000-07:00

almost a week late, but here's an update on those HBO showz:

true blood is getting good. and good--because it looked from the beginning like it was squandering all of the potential in the world. crazy, redefining ending to last episode, though. let's keep a close eye on this one.

entourage--tripping in j-tree. amazing. i'd heard about this episode a while ago when i saw doug ellen speak at the wga, and it followed through on expectations. fantastic. truly.

new seasons: south park, degrassi

2008-10-10T18:19:00.000-07:00

while last night's south park season premiere was great--doing right by the cartman butters formula it so recently did wrong by--, i'm afraid it's suffering from the same syndrome as described for it's always sunny below: it doesn't seem novel anymore (and it did for a long, long time). still, it wasn't nearly as terrible feeling as last season, and the episode itself was funny enough for this to be mostly overlooked. it's just ominous--that's all.

degrassi continues to go there, despite an almost entirely unrecognizable cast. it's as though they're slowly transitioning into generation 3 (or 4?) instead of taking a long gap. goodbye everyone we know and love, hello gifted class. i see the potential for great things here, though.

it's always sunny in philadelpiha

2008-10-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

the new season is doing well, but it may be in danger of acknowledging its own goodness soon and getting too full of itself. the hour-long episode (as opposed to the almost-normal back-to-back) last week was weak, although charlie's butt eating monologue was amazing, and this week's poop-search was fantastic, but for the third time this season it relied too much on itself (green man; repeated, more often than usual visits by the waitress; etc). i'm still loving it, but i hope the end of that isn't as in sight as it may appear...

up in 'dem california GUTS

2008-09-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

californication premiere sucked. but it may just be a setup for a season, so we won't judge it yet as a legit episode.

entourage continues its streak.

GUTS is back--in some form. so far, positive reviews, although i haven't seen it.

and how have we forgotten to mention man bites dog? best missed show on TV since stella. check it out on itunes.

it's always sunny in the bigoted south...and heroes. OH! and skinamax!

2008-09-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

the second it's always sunny double-header of the season featured two episodes that helped ease the fear of shark-jumping, but brought forth a fear of formulaic writing. nonetheless, two episodes that started off slowly and finished amazingly does bode well--it's the antithesis of what south park's been doing lately, and that's a good thing.

true blood kind of reinvented itself this week. kind of. it's still hard to fully judge where it's going, but i know that it's treading dangerous waters: it's going to be hard to keep up an interesting supernatural allegory without feeling hammy (it already kind of does).

heroes: i can't believe it's taken me this long to realize that i don't like these characters or actors. writing in the two hour premiere was HORRIBLE, but the plot lines are somewhat interesting. as dan points out, though, adding time travel elements to a show like this just makes it too unnecessarily complicated. it adds in a diagetic rule that nullifies all other diagetic rules. tough.

and finally, co-ed confidential. those of you who are fans of brian belot's work (see: claremonttelevision.com) will love this currently on-demand softcore semi-porn show about four college freshmen and they're craaaaazy overseers. highly recommended. in depth analysis of each episode coming soon.

ps. congrats to the marlins for pooping on the mets' parade this afternoon. HUZZAH!

entourage

2008-09-22T16:31:00.000-07:00

thank god, entourage. thank god. you're actually very good--really for the first time in your run.

that car chase scene? beautifully choreographed, an actual part of the plot and not just a gimmick, and it didn't end the way everyone thought it would, yet it was still satisfying. wow.

where it's at--two turn tables and a microphone.

it is indeed always sunny.

2008-09-20T15:51:00.001-07:00

this thursday marked the first time since pre-strike where television really felt normal again. the return of it's always sunny double features made me feel...whole.

the first two episodes were both fantastic, but i'm afraid the show might be suffering from the 24 fallacy, which is to say that they think their strength comes from raising the bar for what they see as a core element of the show, muting the show's real strength (24 seasons progress by making jack save more people, in effect dehumanizing his adventures). in it's always sunny's case, these two episodes brought controversy to its highest levels, through cannibalism and water boarding respectively, and while the show maintained it's humor, i'm afraid it can't keep up this pattern for long. ...we shall see...

question.

2008-09-18T14:59:00.001-07:00

if you superman more than one hoe, did you supermen those hoes or superman them?

weeds finale, entourage continues, true blood--ech!, etc

2008-09-17T03:04:00.001-07:00

the weeds reboot worked. the best season yet, by far. the last two episodes were indicative of a season marked by an unbelievably crisp balance of seriousness and absurdity.
--again, the same place entourage is at now, which is at an equally amazing point in its run, after an equally low point.

true blood's first episode sucked. cool world, terrible episode. episode two was great...until it wasn't. in an instant you could see the series get canceled; it really is a cool idea, so that--like--totally blows and stuff.

in other rockin' news, malcolm reruns are back to the pilot, which is amazing because the show gets progressively worse from day one out. getting to the beginning after suffering through the end is like peeing at a rest-stop.

in yet more news, because i don't know what else to say, this somehow feels appropriate, albeit morbid: isn't it perfect that dave wallace committed suicide in the method most frequently discussed through the use of incorrect grammar? (and isn't the forced construction of the sentence it takes to express that idea even more perfect? any students of his that may be reading this [barnet in particular, but he wouldn't be reading this], please correct away.)

david foster wallace

2008-09-15T13:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/15/books/15wallace.html?_r=1&em&oref=slogin

it took me a few days to decide if i had anything worth writing about this. ultimately, i decided: sort of. i never knew the man. i used to make up reasons to go visit the english building so i could pass the open door to his office and casually glance in, giving a head-nod if eye contact was made, but i never had a real conversation with him. i made a comment about tennis in passing once, but that's it. that's all.

i take a lot of pride in knowing he read a story of mine once, though. i wrote it about him. i'm not sure if he knew that or not, but i did. it was in application for his advanced fiction class; i wrote about how if you have large breasts no one will ever see you for anything different. that in any public place, once those breasts are noticed, that's what you'll be seen for/as. it's not to be taken seriously.
for someone who's work i'm not all that familiar with (i've read many individual stories and essays, and the first 300 pages of ij at least 4 times, but no more), i do a lot of writing about him. i think it's because a great deal of the fiction i've been writing recently has come immediately after reading something of his. he inspires. saunders, feig, delillo, and he are the only four writers i can say that of of late.

i don't know where i'm going with all of this; i'm really just getting thoughts out. the newsweek memorial talks about reading his work in retrospect, looking for clues. that upsets me. that shouldn't happen.

i rarely get upset about a death, even that of someone close to me. i think evan put it best, although i'm paraphrasing and somewhat re-interpreting here: his suicide was presumably quite logically thought out. this gives too much validity to depressing thoughts. it doesn't bode well for the world.

it's also possible that this is not the case. it's possible that his decision had nothing to do with the world outside of him, and that it says nothing about the way someone with his propensity for logic and clear thought would see the world through my eyes. it's very possible that it is that very same logic and clear thought that made this world unbearable, and not the other way around. it's possible his problems were internal, not external. or maybe my stupidity--or my unwillingness--is my salvation (i have a feeling this is the case.)

rip, dave wallace. you will be missed.

http://www.marginalia.org/dfw_kenyon_commencement.html

cold-blooded old times.

2008-09-10T02:55:00.000-07:00

when did televisions become almost-living things? we're at a point now where the television is no longer a durable room centerpiece, but instead a fragile shrine to luminosity. the monitor is no longer a glass bubble; it's a seemingly-permeable protective membrane, barely separating us from the plasma within.

like i told my grandmother a few weeks ago when she was playing with my iphone:
we're in the future. we've made it.

and we're back!

2008-09-07T23:22:00.000-07:00

it's that time of year again. football's in the air, life's just getting stressful with a new round of school staring up, new series and seasons of television burst forth from the womb, and the aggrocrag staff reunites in an epic ceremony of the first simultaneous comatose sunday of the TV year.

first, a moment of silence for tom brady.

just a note--i'm predicting the pats finish 11-5, plus or minus two.

weeds is back; the show continues to reinvent itself--this time with a full-blown reboot. it's got good stuff going on, though. it's regressed into the same shell that entourage is in when it's at its best: serious, engaging overarching plots, silly side stories, and characters you care about on occasion.
interestingly enough, after a year-plus of horrendous consecutive episodes, entourage put out one of its best as last season's finale.
this season's premiere outdid it.
entourage and weeds are two shows that are easy to equate with one another if you've never seen them, but up until now they've been vastly different shows on the intangible paradigm of structure (think: mise en scene, but for plot instead of visual structure. and then think of all of the two-dimensional spectra that go into that. and then think of those making up a multi-dimensional graph). it's just now, in their fith and fourth seasons respectively, that they've met somewhere at a really similar middle.
does the fact that they've both arrived at the almost exact same arbitrary point on a large, incomprehensible, strictly-metaphorical graph say something about where we are as an audience in 2008? or just something about what happens when a not-serious show which deals with serious fascets of life reaches this level in its maturity? are they each others' inverses?--is weeds entourage's benjamin button (jay kay, j/k, jk...lololololol). ...or do i just miss media studies?

updatez

2008-07-03T11:09:00.001-07:00

so...it's been a while. the last post was late april and--as you can tell from the punctuation--was by one of our other bloggers. it's not that i've gotten lazy (although i have...), just that other bloggs demanded attention. h2brOs.com, EachCastleHasATroll.com, HibachiReview.com, and soon to be VeganLeatherDaddy.com and EarthFireWindWaterHeart.com. ...so get off my back.

anyways...

i've been in NYC, so i haven't been watching much (no tv feed and an internet connection that's firewalled up the wazoo [no freakin' vpn!!!!]), but i'll catch you up on what i have seen.

BTW--all movie related posts are now located at EachCastleHasATroll.com

since the last time i updated i've done the sopranos from beginning to end. now that it's more contextualized for me (i originally watched seasons 1 and 6 when they aired, but nothing in between), i must say i'm madly in love with the last episode, but not the ending. obviously, chase wanted to either make a splash or leave things open. if he really wanted to do something cool and (i guess?)pseudo artistic, which he implies, his last shot should have been from tony's POV. but that is what it is. the cut to phil leotardo's last scene could possibly be my favorite of all time in any medium. ...a fantastic show.

weeds season 4 is alive and kicking. glad to see they eliminated the intro, as it wouldn't have been applicable anymore. and i'm shocked at how well they managed to pull all of these ends together. episode one was lacking, but two and three were each exponentially better than the last, with four (and beyond) looking promising.

celebrity family feud? it's horrid--and i'm in love.

and that's what i've got for you. more to come more frequently--i promise--, but don't expect a noticeable spike in posting until the summer ends.

...i love you all.

BSG is stinky

2008-04-27T03:40:00.001-07:00

On top of the disappointing 1/2 season of South Park (which Stu amply covers below), the best drama on television is completely lacking 20% of the way into the season. Battlestar Galactica is completely underwhelming. Can't believe I'm typing it but it's true.

I'm not a Star Wars fan but I have a few friends who are (sidenote: all but one of them get laid consistently), and I've heard them complain that the new trilogy feels like the plot volume of one movie stretched out over three. I feel the same about Battlestar season 4. I have no doubt that Ronald Moore knows exactly how BSG is going to end and I'm even more sure it's going to be brilliant. I'm just don't know if he needs 20 episodes to get there. What we've seen in the first four held enough story for one mediocre season premiere. A minor character dies. Blah. Starbuck returns and no one bats an eyelash? Please. Even Baltar is beginning to lose his charm; he's become a babbling, pathetic schmuck as opposed to the glib, egomaniacal schmuck we loved to hate over the last three seasons. The most interesting story in the new season thus far has been the Cylon dispute/possible civil war. And more so than WHO the final cylon is (they've played this card 8 times and it lost its shock value after Boomer) I feel the more interesting mystery is WHY the final five are different.

Most cable shows are serial/episodic hybrids, which gives them an edge: If the story doesn't go anywhere, you can still have a great individual episode. And if the episodic story sucks, the show can still be saved by moving the overall plot forwards. Aye, there's the rub: Thus far, BSG hasn't delivered on either end.

Note: You know how slumping athletes (outside of NY) get a pass from the fans because of all they've done for the team in years past? Well, BSG has earned my trust. No matter how many episodes continue to disappoint me, I have no doubt in my mind that the next one will blow me away.

...and it gets even worse

2008-04-25T11:37:00.001-07:00

this season of south park just got 100x less clever...

so much for originality

south park season 12 pt 1 subsector 8 form 26b microfieche

2008-04-24T17:25:00.000-07:00

with the conclusion of season 12 part 1, aggrocrag readers will soon finally be treated to a post about something other than south park. ...soon. for now, more 'park it is.

last night's journey to days of field trips yore brought with it the first predictable cartman/butters episode of the series. the formerly novel and always brilliant recipe instantly became formulaic, and some may even say it had echoes of shark jumping (...say it ain't so!). besides that, i was irked by one specific, tiny line that hopefully is not a sign of something bigger to come: the police officer commenting on how annoying the people at the 1800s village are for never breaking character. it was a non-sensible diagetic oversight that played down to a dumb audience--something south park is fantastic at rarely doing. add this to a season without a single real bright spot (besides the 30 seconds of butters singing "what what in your butt," which loses replayability quickly and illuminated their struggles to pick up on potentially brilliant plot lines) (and perhaps the kenny/cheesing episode, which was by far and away the best of the first half of the season but still terrible compared to the classics) and it looks like we may be in for a bumpy ride to the finish.
we should note that it's still the best show on tv.

in other news, matt groening (sp?) interviewing david chase at the writer's guild this past week was exactly as fulfilling as most wga events: i left saying "it was worth the 10 bucks and howevermany hours of my life...but just barely." if you're around in late april and may, though, james l. brooks and judd apatow are coming 'round the bend...

internet money!

2008-04-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

this week's south park was a bit disappointing (although the inflection with which them darn canada folk said "more internet money" was hi-larious). we knew they would take on the strike, but not this way. they made it seem like a fruitless battle, while in reality it was a much needed winning effort for the WGA. yes--it may have been a bit early; yes--we may not be fully aware yet of exactly how the internet is going to be profitable, but given that the contracts were up, timing the strike differently was not really an option, and provisions to adapt to change are there.

also, they couldn't have done more with butters status as an internet star? this is what the episode should have been about, and frankly i'll be a bit disappointed if next week is not about butters's jaunt around the talk show circuit.

welps, back to richard rodriguez's days of obligation...

24 season 7 preview...

2008-03-21T00:50:00.000-07:00

...got me extremely excited.

another new south park

2008-03-21T00:49:00.000-07:00

now it just seems like south park is asking itself "which topical moral/issue should we address/teach (about) this week?"

the first new 'park of the season

2008-03-18T10:41:00.001-07:00

the first new south park didn't provide any unbelievable laughs, but it did a great job showcasing what the show is best at: taking on extremely offensive topics and tackling them without being uselessly vulgar. they have this weapon called "cartman" that allows them to say or do anything given that everyone knows he lacks any semblance of morals, and once again they used this weapon effectively--and some might even say responsibly. am i sure? i'm hiv positive.

House Part 4 makes House Party 3 look like House Party 2

2008-03-07T17:07:00.000-08:00

I just recently had a conversation with someone who thought Season 6 of 24 was, in her words, "like 100x better than Season 5". Is this statement punishable by death, or just torture from Jack Boward?

new season

2008-03-06T16:59:00.002-08:00

the new season of reno could be the best pure season yet...meaning the best featuring the reno players and not just repeated terry/patton oswalt jokes. this past episode, featuring trudy on the bus dressed as a schoolgirl and others building a fence on the mexico border, could be the funniest in the past few years. bravo.

the countdown...

2008-03-06T16:59:00.001-08:00

less than a week until new south parks. life has meaning again...

cheers

2008-03-05T22:11:00.000-08:00

earlier today, i finished the last episode of the greatest television show of all time. needless to say, it did not disappoint. here's to the wire.

Bring Back the Pete and Pete DVDs

2008-02-22T00:27:00.001-08:00

Beginning the open petition to Paramount Home Video to re-solicit and finally release Pete and Pete season 3, along with a Complete Series boxed set that includes a Petunia temporary tattoo, Little Pete's hat, and a business card/coupon to Big Pete's barber.

Mrs. West, please forgive your son

2008-02-18T15:46:00.000-08:00

A suggestion for next year's Grammys: Abolish the "Album of the Year" award. "Bullshit!" you say? Watch your mouth. And hear me out. The last decade has proved the complete worthlessness of the award and the misnomer in its title, capped off by Herbie Hancock's win for RIVER: THE JONI LETTERS.

Now don't get me wrong...I love Herbie Hancock. I've probably heard more Herbie Hancock than most people of my generation. I thought Herbie Hancock had been dead since the early 1980s. No disrespect...once I saw his win, I downloaded (legally, mind you...Gandalf, where are you when I need you?) RIVER and I really liked it...a whole lot more than I liked GRADUATION by Kanye or the three songs I heard off Amy Winehouse's album. But is it really the BEST album of the year? Is Kanye? Is Amy Winehouse?

Problem #1: The "Best Album" category faces a similar problem to the "Best Director" category of the Oscars. Rather than earning the award for whatever work they produced in the current year, recipients often receive it for a work they produced years, even decades earlier. Marty won the Best Director nod because Kevin Costner stole it in 1990; Steely Dan won Best Album in 2002 because they didn't win for AJA or ROYAL SCAM; Bob Dylan won for TIME OUT OF MIND because he never won for any of his pre-religious zealot-era music. And Herbie Hancock won in 2008 because Miles Davis didn't win for KIND OF BLUE, because John Coltrane didn't win for BLUE TRAIN and because Herbie Hancock didn't win for MAIDEN VOYAGE or HEAD HUNTERS. And again, I want to point out: I loved DEPARTED, I loved TWO AGAINST NATURE, I loved TIME OUT OF MIND. But each of these was a shadow of the respective artists' prior works and, while all these things are great in their own right, they're more famous for evoking fond memories of past work. And if they're really the best that that year has to offer, then the arts are heading in a serious downward spiral (but that's another post...).

This phenomenon would be similar to a professor giving me a C on an A+ paper, only to realize the mistake a few semesters later. And instead of going back and correcting the grade, it would be like him saying "even though you're doing C-work in my class this semester, I'll give you an A+ to make up for the last one". It's this warped sense of justice that is completely unfair to everyone else who's producing even better stuff THIS year (and does this mean that in 20 years, Kanye will win for MOMMA--STILL MILKIN' YO DEATH or Amy Winehouse for REHAB--YES, YES YES YES?).

Problem #2 (it's shorter, I promise): And on to Kanye and Amy, who were expected to duke it out for the award....Rename it. It's offensive to people who enjoy music. Take "Album of the Year" and stick a "Most Popular" on the front of it. Give more lifetime acheivement awards. Hell, create a whole new category called "OOPS--WHAT WE MEANT TO SAY WAS..." for all the Herbs out there. Sure, artists who are making great music still won't be recognized, but at least the awards will be honest.

And while we're on the subject...how about one of those OOPS awards to Morris Day and the Time for ICE CREAM CASTLES? Anyone...?

breaking bad

2008-02-11T23:19:00.000-08:00

we're three episodes in, and i can't figure out if i like breaking bad or not. as expected, bryan cranston is phenomenal, but the rest of the show i'm not quite sold on. is the plot too cliche? not cliche enough? is it about to go in an interesting direction? has it already gone there? there's something about it that just doesn't resonate with me despite it being oddly relatable given the plot. the characters are extremely engaging in theory, yet somehow i'm not really getting into any of them. i keep wanting the show to be funny but it's never going to be. i guess i'm just expecting too much malcolm.

your shows, post strike (poached)

2008-02-11T10:30:00.000-08:00

24
Expected to return this fall or January '09.

30 Rock
Expected to shoot 5 to 10 new episodes to air in April/May.

Back to You
Two pre-strike episodes remain. Future TBD*.

The Big Bang Theory
Expected to shoot 5 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

Big Love
Expected to go into production on Season 3 in March. Airdate info is TBD.

Big Shots
No new episodes expected. Ever.

Bones
Four pre-strike episodes left. Unclear whether additional episodes will be produced for this season.

Boston Legal
Expected to shoot 4 or 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

Brothers & Sisters
Expected to shoot 4 or 5 new episodes to air in April/May.

Burn Notice
Production on Season 2 expected to get underway in late April. New episodes could start airing as early as July.

Chuck
No new episodes until fall.

The Closer
Expected to kick off its fourth season this summer.

Cold Case
Expected to shoot 4 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

Criminal Minds
Expected to shoot 4 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

CSI
Expected to shoot 4 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

CSI: Miami
Expected to shoot 4 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

CSI: NY
Expected to shoot 4 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

Desperate Housewives
Expected to shoot 4 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

Dirty Sexy Money
No new episodes planned until fall; three remaining pre-strike episodes will undergo some tweaking and kick off fall run.

ER
TBD.

Everybody Hates Chris
Twelve pre-strike episodes remain. No additional episodes expected for this season.

Friday Night Lights
No new episodes expected for this season. Future TBD.

Gossip Girl
Expected to shoot up to 9 new episodes to air in April/May/June.

Greek
Kicks off second half of Season 1 on March 24. Still awaiting Season 2 pickup.

Grey's Anatomy
Expected to shoot 4 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May

Heroes
TBD.

House
Expected to shoot 4 to 6 new episodes to air in April/May.

How I Met Your Mother
Expected to shoot 5 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

Jericho
Seven episodes remain. No additional episodes expected for this season.

Las Vegas
Two pre-strike episodes remain. No additional episodes expected for this season.

Law & Order: SVU
TBD.

Life
No new episodes expected until fall.

Life Is Wild
No new episodes expected. Ever.

Lost
Six pre-strike episodes remain. Six additional episodes could air this season.

Medium
Six pre-strike episodes remain. No additional episodes expected this season.

Men in Trees
Eleven pre-strike episodes remain. No additional episodes expected this season.

Moonlight
No new episodes expected until fall.

My Name Is Earl
Expected to shoot 8 to 10 new episodes to air in April/May.

NCIS
Expected to shoot 5 to 7 new episodes, only three of which may air this season.

The New Adventures of Old Christine
Seven pre-strike episodes remain. No additional episodes expected this season.

Nip/Tuck
Season 5 concludes Feb. 19. Production on the show's eight-episode sixth season expected to start up this summer. Airdate TBD.

Numbers
Expected to shoot 5 to 7 new episodes, only three of which may air this season.

October Road
Five pre-strike episodes remain. Future beyond that TBD.

The Office
Expected to shoot 5 to 10 new episodes to air in April/May.

One Tree Hill
Six pre-strike episodes remain. Future beyond that TBD.

Prison Break
Two pre-strike episodes remain. Future beyond that TBD.

Private Practice
Slim chance it could return with 4 or 5 new episodes this season. Either way, it'll be back in the fall.

Pushing Daisies
No new episodes until fall.

Reaper
Three pre-strike episodes remain. Future beyond that TBD.

Samantha Who?
Three remaining pre-strike episodes could possibly surface this season, or be held until fall (see Dirty Sexy Money).

Saturday Night Live
Could be back on the air as early as Feb. 16.

Smallville
Four pre-strike episodes remain. Expected to shoot 3 to 5 additional episodes to air in April/May.

Supernatural
Two pre-strike episodes remain. Expected to shoot 3 to 5 additional episodes to air in April/May.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Five pre-strike episodes remain. Future beyond that TBD.

Two and a Half Men
Expected to shoot 5 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

Ugly Betty
Expected to shoot 4 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

Without a Trace
Expected to shoot 4 to 7 new episodes to air in April/May.

Women's Murder Club
Shocking development: A deal to bring the show back this season is being hammered out as I write this.

hannah montana--IN 3D!!#@!@#!@#

2008-02-07T11:49:00.000-08:00

while i could not stop focusing on the backup dancers or marveling at the incredible business model that is disney entertainment (or stop noticing the obvious reshot-for-3d inserts--and maybe i just missed it in the credits, but after a scene explaining how miley wrote a song for her dead grandfather i didn't see her credited after the film...), hannah montana's answer to U2 was an amazing experience. while the technology may have seemed less hokey in beowulf (obviously zemekis is the right man to bring 3d into the mainstream...), disney did a good job of using but not abusing digital 3d. and if you haven't had the experience yet, i recommend you go out of your way to before journey to the center of the earth sucks you in (and just generally sucks...). overall, i give it seven unicorns, two chocolate dipped dunken doughnuts, and a smiley emotocon with a hat.

best season ever?

2008-02-05T12:33:00.000-08:00

when it was all said and done, the nfl season played out like the shawshank redemption: slow and painful at times, sad at times, but in the end...damn--what a payoff.

i'll take 1-15 if it comes with 18-1.

looorrrdydydydyy!!!!

2008-02-04T11:13:00.000-08:00

oh. my. gawd. that was the greatest superbowl i have ever seen. the greatest end to any season. possibly the greatest game (not in a self-contained way, but in all that it was and embodied) ever. but this blog ain't 'bout sports. it's 'bout the tele. the vision. so i've got a conundrum of sorts--avoid committing the cardinal sin of being a sports fan--a MALE (YX, o->, 8===D) sports fan--who talks about superbowl commercials and usurp the duties that come with sworn oath of this blog, or...

so here's the deal. one commercial and one only. the best of the night. i shan't discuss, i shall simply say that i'm pissed of espn.com gave this guy no love.

24: the unaired pilot

2008-02-03T13:16:00.002-08:00

...while we're on the subject, this just deserves viewing...

in honor of the end being in sight...

2008-02-03T11:07:00.000-08:00

for those of you who haven't heard yet, it appears the strike may be dead by monday morning. and that the giants will be superbowl champions by that time too. perchance to dream...

i've been meaning to post on this for a while now, so i will use this potential end to end our...erm...um...strike as well and get while the gettin's good.

24 last season. what. the. hell. here's the thing: while in theory it's cool to see jack stop a bomb from blowing up all of los angeles or the usa or the world or whatever, i really have no concept of what that means in my head, and i also really don't care in reality. jack fighting a drone or killing large numbers of people in non-hand-to-hand combat just doesn't do it for me. it's not jack's act of saving people that gets me excited, it's jack kicking ass. period. the show has gotten too far from that. with that in mind, and with the idea that keifer is signed up through season 8, here's my plan of what should have happened after season 5. keep in mind that season 5 ends with jack in a chinese prison.

season 6: ep 1-8 jack single handedly breaks out of a chinese prison with no help from anyone but himself. hand to hand combat, jack fighting for the life we viewers care about most (his own), and kicking ass and taking names. at the end of ep 8 jack makes contact with CTU, and by ep 10 he's lost it. ep 12 he gets caught by the chinese and we think that CTU must have sold him out. it turns out, however, that in reality country X (arab, eastern eurpean--pick your poison) has threatened both china and the USA, and they've brokered a deal to let jack go as long as he works along side china to stop this thing. meanwhile, in america, a bright young whippersnapper with an appetite for destruction is fighting the terrorists from CTU's base. curtis, perhaps? jack this time gets notoriety for his help and is interviewed by the news at the end of the season.

season 7: someone had picked up on jack's story and done research. jack has basically become a USA-saving celebrity, and all of america acknowledges how much he's done. he hates the attention, but in honor of david he runs for political office. think of it as a modified season 1, but a) it's not just an attempt on jack's life but also an international terrorist attack, and b) the candidate running for office kicks. major. ass.

season 8: jack is in office--the new palmer--and working with the new jack to save the world. at the end, jack gives his life to save millions. this is where it's ok to use a bomb or a mass destruction device--we don't want to see jack die a weak death, after all.

season 9 and beyond: curtis--or whoever the new jack has been in training since season 6--takes over. and the show lives on...

in other news, i saw rambo last night. it was unbelievable. it completely owned up to what it was and it did not hold back at all. not for a single second. ...so this is what happens when you give a camera to someone with 'roid rage...? the only thing cooler would have been if it were in 3D and/or if it even owned it more and self-referentially decided not to use any english dialog or sub titles throughout the entire movie. and john rambo's dad's first initial is R? i would LOVE it if it turns out his dad's name is Rambo Rambo.

that's is all. GO GIANTSSSSSS.

things i've learned during--and, in one way or another, as a result of--the strike

2008-01-28T23:38:00.001-08:00

-jon stewart is even funnier a person than i had given him credit for.

-it's always sunny in philadelphia is hysterical. charlie is one of the greatest characters ever.

-robot chicken is what happens when family guy has no allegiance to main characters.

-as hard as this is to admit to myself, i actually get lonely without my favorite shows having new episodes. i hated the last season of 24, and i was not particularly looking forward to this one, but jack bower's absence in my life is certainly felt.

-the simpsons can still actually be funny. that 90's show, season 19 ep 11, was one of the best i have ever seen. the BTTF reference...incredible.

-the wire is hands down the most brilliant television show ever made.

-nick gas really is dead. i love the n, but i was fine having it a few hours a day on noggin. the world is a sadder place without gas.

RIP Nick GAS

2008-01-02T11:57:00.001-08:00

:'(

continued...

2007-12-15T09:48:00.001-08:00

as the strike rages on, we hold steadfast with our writers.

we will NOT be moved.

Magnetic North:

I'm sick of silence, sick of being voiceless.
They stigmatize us, the bitterest of poisons.
We gotta fight it, no living in avoidance.
Ain't you sick of suffering the bitter disappointment?
"Hell Yeah!"
Then join us, trust in our tactics.
Prove we ain't moving like rush hour traffic.
I've had it, the madness, I literally shook
hearing tales never told in a history book.
Caught in misery's hook, seeing, faces screaming.
fathers getting slaughtered, daughters raped and beaten
while they are weeping, mothers sitting stunned
clutchin on to dog tags that belong to her son.
See the fight has begun, but the silence is over...
WE WILL NOT BE MOVED.

the last two south parks...

2007-11-09T19:30:00.000-08:00

just some quick notes:

imagination land did not end the way i thought/hoped, but it was still a fantabulastic trilogy. first, continuing the manbearpig metaphor for global warming but keeping al gore as he was allowed south park to admit that they were wrong about global warming but save face by reassuring us that al gore is in fact crazy (and proud of his nobel prize, which in itself is a bit self-mocking [even if you pretend that you're bragging about your emmy for comedic sake a few eps ago, you're nonetheless reminding us of it...]). still--the only thing cartman probably liked more than sucking kyle's balls was getting to watch himself suck kyle's balls. both cartman won and kyle did not fully lose, which really was exactly what we wanted. and butters was a hero in his--and everyone's--imagination while still being a tragic figure.

this last episode was fantastic. guitar hero was handled perfectly, as was the idea of a local version of a hollywood party featuring news anchors and local commercial celebrities. the best non-cartman episode in a long, long time.

two more left? damn--this show needs more eps. hopefully they'll tackle the strike...?

is chuck klosterman really that good?

2007-10-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

i have to admit: it took me a while to give chuck klosterman a chance. nothing is more annoying than people telling you you're going to love a writer who writes rambling non-fiction essays because they remind them of something you could write, because i know that either 1) i'll read them and be frustrated that said writer missed the point, or 2) i'll read them and be jealous and pissed that i'm actually just a living, worse version of someone else. after enough time, though, and a stupid enough title, sex, drugs, and coacoapuffs did suck me in. and i enjoyed it. there were flaws, but really i felt like i was having a conversation with a superior peer, which is a nice way (internally directed) of saying he falls under #2. and since then, c.k. continues to impress. his most recent article in espn the mag, for instance, about the nba's inherent flaws was spot on. while two of the three reasons are points i have argued for years, i never could have articulated them as well nor contextualized and framed them in such an overarching, sensible, point-making way.

but is he really that good? a few years ago i would have made similar claims about bill simmons, but now i kind of think he's a boston obsessed overplayed heteronormative less clever klosterman who admires david foster wallace a little too much just because he acknowledges that he's a bit over his head. or am i being too cruel to the sports guy because of an inbred accidental inherent disdain for my former sports-casting directed self and all that was attached to it?

friday night lizzights

2007-10-27T16:41:00.000-07:00

it's been one of these "tear the world apart off season and spend season two putting it back together" shows so far, but slowly as the world regains normalcy the season gets better. still, we want to see a football drama that uses the game as a metaphor for life and shows us realistic portrayals of the small town (god i can't believe i'm about to say this...but it's part sarcastic and completely self reflexive, so i'll pretend that makes it okay...) human condition, not an over-the-top melodrama. oh, brian grazer, why do you taunt us so? for other examples, see: 24. arrested development. any other show imagine has its hands in.

imaginationland part deux

2007-10-27T16:40:00.001-07:00

the lack of imagination with the bad imagination was a bit disappointing, but jason's voice was hysterical, and like usual, south park continues to be virtually perfect in its execution. they have a fantastic grasp on generic conventions and continue to draw humor perfectly by employing those conventions in a fourth-grade paper world. now, on to part three...

le office

2007-10-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

my current feelings on the office season three are as follows:
the office was fantastic because of its normalcy; we all know dwight and creed and kevin and all of the other rosenkrantzes and guildensterns in our lives, and we all like to fantasize that we're a jim or a pam not quite fitting in. the other characters' understated yet obviously present quirky character traits builds up their realism and reinforces our narcissistic identifications. season four (until this week) has been using an hour of time to tell a half-hour of jokes, and has been filling in the remaining time with direct, over-the-top caricaturization of the characters who work perfectly as side notes. that's my problem with this season.

on another note, michael was fantastic in this past episode--another one of those "oh yeah...i guess he isn't soooo bad..." moments. his commercial was perfect: exactly the right amount of racial insensitivity bottled up in an otherwise clever, low budget idea. huzzah!

gyros

2007-10-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

fantastic heroes this week, featuring pomona college's acting for tv and film professor alan blumenfeld as a man who can hypnotize you into believing you're in a david lynch film.

the two best shows i wasn't watching part deux

2007-10-19T11:20:00.001-07:00

so maybe i jumped the gun a little...

i'm all caught up with friday night lights season two now, and it's awful. but the first season really was that good.

i tried watching pushing daisies episode three last night and i couldn't get past the first ten minutes. maybe i just wasn't in the mood, but still...

but think of the power!!!!

2007-10-18T22:48:00.001-07:00

roommate ian just brought up a good point: who is going to be the bad imagination in next week's pt 2? they're going to use the setup to say or do something to someone; it's not just going to be monsters in the traditional sense (there were even a few monsters on the good side).
that's the power south park holds right now, and they know it. last week, they entered katie couric's name into the vernacular as a measurement of poop size just because they could. south park has the power to take the cheep shot and not be looked down upon for it, because...hey...it's south park.

south park (imaginationland)

2007-10-18T21:54:00.000-07:00

after two sub-par episodes to start the season...
OH. MY. GOD.
they love doing this to us. they show a few bad ones and then blow your mind. and this was one of the best, most imaginative half-hours in television i have seen in a long, long time.

chiggidy chiggidy chizance.

2007-10-14T18:01:00.000-07:00

there you go. a high school male; truly the worst ever.
in every event he could screw up he did.
in the two events he did not get last, it was because of others' faults, not because of his successes.

http://www.reinverlad.com/index.html
read that.

for an explanation, read...
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/business/orl-eola0306mar03,0,3740057.story?coll=orl-business-utility

...THIS is why we blog.

the two best shows i wasn't watching...

2007-10-13T23:12:00.000-07:00

pushing daisies:
if the princess bride and willy wonka had a crime-fighting baby, it would be pushing daisies. clever, romantically visceral, well made, and self-aware, pushing daisies is the most original fairy-tale to hit television in perhaps forever. watch this show.

friday night lights:
the reality and emotion of minor league baseball (aka the semblance of hope i have for america as a concept...) wrapped up in a football show. i'm on episode 9, but i only see it going up from here. it's the athletic wonder years.

tune in.

CHANCE1@$!@#!@#!@%@#$!

2007-10-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

ladies and gents-
as i am typing this, 9:52pm pst on friday, october the 12, two thousand seven, CHANCE is on nick gas. chance "the gator" gordy. the greatest guts ever, featuring the worst contestant of all time. i've got it set to keep until i delete on tivo, so expect an upload here soon.
more on this later.

the darjeeling ltd.

2007-10-06T01:29:00.000-07:00

fortunately, wes anderson's trademark aesthetic is a pleasing one. unfortunately, while watching darjeeling, i had the feeling that this was wes's way of waving his hands high in the air and screaming to his father "look what i can do!", a sentiment all too appropriate (yet still very annoying) for a film about three brothers traveling together following their father's death. the cuts and shots were all overplayed and trite in that anderson sort of way; it felt like him paying homage to himself (trademark actor cameos, to boot). instead of having a story and choosing the best edits and camera angles to go along with it, this film had an overarching feeling of those being pre-selected and the story being molded around them.

while that bothered me, my biggest problem was the lack of sentiment. whenever i think about wes anderson, the first definitive-idea of him that comes to mind is his aesthetic, but when i really think hard about it i really love his blunt, brutally honest, surreal character interactions. while sometimes he is a bit too quirky, in general it is his fantastic characterization that really makes me fall in love with him. yes, the crickets and the dust beetles line is the first i think of when asked to name a royal t. quote, but the film could have survived without that and been just as good; it could not have survived without the numerous hyperbolized every day family conversations. it's a people story. this film--a film about three brothers on a journey--was ripe for that sort of thing, yet somehow it completely missed it. there are two lines in the entire film that get it right: schwartzman leaving the train and talking to the train stewardess, and schwartzman referencing hotel chevalier, which wouldn't even fully make sense if you hadn't seen the short.

basically, this film is like when your favorite, prolific band comes out with a greatest hits cd of all their most popular songs instead of the ones that both they and you like best. ya--it's great to have all of their singles on one disc, but wouldn't you rather listen to joshuah tree or the unforgettable fire instead of best of 1980-1990 any day of the week?

south park

2007-10-05T14:54:00.000-07:00

cartman gets tourette's and this is the best you could do? COMMON! up through cartman stirring his "scotch" and challenging kyle, this was one of the best potential-episodes i had ever seen. it had everything and more going for it. and then cartman bites HIMSELF in the ass? seriously? that's how you chose to get out of the jam of cartman potentially--for all intents and purposes--winning that crazy little game called life? really? i'll give you a do-over. if next week you recycle the first fifteen minutes and just give me a different ending--one where war with kyle ensues and cartman gets exposed--or doesn't--i'll go for it. i won't complain. i'll wipe the memory of the first one completely off the map. just, please...remedy this problem.

the office

2007-10-05T14:52:00.000-07:00

episode one had kind of a pathetically slow first half hour, but they picked it up at the end. episode two was pretty decent, but again a bit too slow. how do they expect to make thirty quality episodes if on top of that they're trying to make a bunch of them an hour long? and why make it an hour long if you only have a half hour of jokes? nonetheless i am glad to see that they're diving in head first with this pam/jim thing, because it was getting dangerously close to noxious. it may fail, but at least they grew some much needed cajones. when did this show become so relationship-y outside of the pam/jim thing, by the way?

and is michael going to sue garmin? they have video evidence of him actually being stupid enough to allow the gps to cause him to drive the car into the lake. they should sue.

entourage

2007-10-05T14:51:00.000-07:00

(just a quick note...)

(these are getting shorter and shorter...)

worst entourage season ever. although the last episode was possibly the best of all time. ...this should be interesting.

weeds

2007-10-05T14:50:00.001-07:00

weeds made its return with a bang. or with four crappy episodes and then a bang, but a bang nonetheless. this show keeps getting goofier and goofier yet somehow it's gaining charm instead of losing it. and--for once in television history--the formerly cute kid hitting somewhat-puberty is a good thing instead of a bad one. viva la revolution!

heroes

2007-10-05T14:44:00.001-07:00

there's a hirooooo when you look inside your heart...

episode one was one of the worst returns to tv in recent memory. and NO ONE will ever be that excited by a nissan rogue (or--as eje pointed out--any nissan ever). episode two, though, picked up right where we wanted it to. peter, whose power-discovery was one of the more fun threads in season one, finds himself with a two-to-three episode arch of doing it all over again; hiro--while finding out that idol is a bit too goofy in that francis from malcolm in the middle sort of way--is getting his chance to really turn into a hero, claire's finding herself in that peter parker dealing with being a noone in high school while secretly having powers sort of position, and partman's actually looking somewhat cool. now we just have to get them to never EVER again try to say "the company" with a straight face.

and maybe it's just me (or my memories of her as the nerd on malcolm [who references malcolm twice in one heroes post?]), but hayden panettiere really isn't all that hot. at all. seriously. not at all.

hannah montana

2007-10-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

can we get an episode more than once a month? the timing of the o-phone episode made sense (sort of), being nuzzled between the peak of the iphone's popularity and the release of the rock's hannah's-target-audience aimed flick, but nonetheless this defined the all-to-creepy-yet-all-too-perfect use of the word cocktease.

oh lord i'm going to jail.

californication

2007-10-05T14:41:00.001-07:00

through eight episodes, david duchovny's return to (somewhat) late night premium cable has been a successful one. while recent episodes are less red shoe diaries and more adult pacey after he loses joey for being neglectful, the show offers enough half-way decent writing to suck me in. that's the deal, though--i can't tell if i actually like the show or if duchovny's bad-assness is just so freakin' textbook narcissistic identification that i can't look away (even though i find myself in reality resembling bill a bit too much for comfort). either way, i'm glad to see that season three of AD was not the last time that i got to see "THESE" (so to speak), with kitty's perfect cameo in episode eight, and i'm quite happy that they chose to explicitly make the suicide girls reference instead of leaving me screaming at the screen that they're ripping off an all-too-common fantasy.
...this could be an interesting one. chalk of another HUZZAH for showtime narratives.

a return?

2007-09-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

summer wound down, school started up, and now we're back in the swing of things.

what we missed:
entourage ended.
weeds started.
and one of our bloggers got engaged.

but for now, we'll leave you with a video from 2004. enjoy.

Startling Revelations

2007-07-21T15:11:00.001-07:00

I don't mean to start a big thing, but has anyone else noticed that Vanilla Ice's epic ballad "I Love You" seems to be nothing more than a complete ripoff, in music and lyrics, of LL Cool J's equally magnificent "I Need Love"? Don't believe me? See for yourself. I can provide free burned copies of "To The Extreme" for anyone that doesn't still have it. Just post your mailing address and Paypal me $2 for shipping.

Could this be the next big conspiracy theory? I don't know, like I said, I don't mean to start anything big, but I'm just sayin...

the nba scandal

2007-07-21T02:03:00.001-07:00

i can't wait for the "so what if i was fixing games to make money? at least i wasn't instructing the entire ref corps to fix games to get tv ratings" cut-off-the-nose-to-save-the-face move in the next few weeks. even if it's not true this guy might as well make the most out of his already soiled name and bring down the rest of the nba with him. ...right?

bobby's world

2007-07-19T20:28:00.001-07:00

bobby's world is on its way back to tv. that makes the icon at the top of our page much less nostalgic. any replacement ideas?

kwik-e-mart

2007-07-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

great observation by buster zalkand a few weeks ago that hit home today:
the simpsons created a sarcastic, purposefully generic version of 7-11 and then almost twenty years later licensed this generic version back to them. amazing.

olmec! (rated R)

2007-07-17T22:31:00.001-07:00

espn's who's now

2007-07-17T14:38:00.000-07:00

there is an inherent problem with this espn "who's now" deal: by establishing rankings for a bracket, they are already declaring who they think is “now.” the bracket format only works when the prize up for grabs is self-contained to that bracket and said bracket's seedings are based on previous performance. it's not like there was a formula based on athletic performance--or importance to team, or endorsements, or past "who's now" voting--there was nothing. by establishing seedings, espn has already declared who it thinks is “now,” and being that espn is most likely the primary media outlet that most "who's now" voters use to get their sports news, those voters will most likely have opinions shaped by that very same espn (with skews based on geographical location). add to that the fact that 30% of the vote comes from espn personalities (although i am in favor of them doing 10%-10%-10% instead of the electoral college system, but that's a different point altogether) and we have one gigantic waste of time. it's a meta-fantasy sport; a ridiculous feat topped only by the now-more-popular-than-ever sportscaster-as-the-interviewee interview.

miley's mammy

2007-07-16T19:49:00.000-07:00

i touched on this last night, but today i got to thinking and realized that this probably deserves a bit more attention. what is with hannah montana's treatment of black peoople? the show has two black characters: one is an evil b-word who goes to school with miley and has no redeeming factors besides that she is cool for an unoriginal archetypal reason, and the other is roxy, miley/hannah's bodyguard slash maternal figure.
think about that for a second. a southern, tennessee family employs a rotund, jovial black woman to care for their white, petite child. she only breaks from her character's distinctly annoying drawl once, and that is in an alternate universe episode where the actress plays an angel that has simply taken roxy's form as to not intimidate miley. at the end of that episode, three white kids are rapping, and in a last-ditch move that adds nothing to the song besides a black presence, roxy--with a flava-flav clock draped around her neck--says, "peace out!" i thought disney stopped overt racism once song of the south caught so much fire and instead relegated itself to expressing racism only through its implied minority characters like ursula, scar, the hyenas, and everyone besides aladin (played by a white actor, scott weinger, aka steve, dj's boyfriend, in full house) in aladin.

ps...in case you need this-- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannah_Montana

mike azzinaro (blue) v justin bellucci (red) v nathan welch (purple), also known as mike o'malley's wet dream

2007-07-15T19:49:00.001-07:00

what a freakin' episode. this is what guts is made for. you could see the excitement in mike's face from the instant the game started--games like this are the reason he gets up in the morning. three real athletes hungry for a glowing piece of that radical rock.

event one: off the wall.
mike (in blue)'s first jump is directly in the center of the wall. it is possible that he knocked off more balls with that one jump than any other single jump in guts' off the wall history has. he now, however, has a huge gap in the center of the wall and cannot really make efficient use of his remaining time with any of his following jumps since there are no sectors big enough to be worthwhile. on top of this, he has continuous trouble getting back on the aerial bridge.
the event ends, and seemingly out of nowhere, justin has only 2 of his 50 balls left on the wall. 48/50. that is an unreal score. unquestionably the best score i've ever seen. the replay reveals why: he attacked the game perfectly. he went at the wall in a well-designed pattern and used every jump to its fullest. a near-flawless execution.
nathan finishes with 33 and mike with 26--also two of the highest scores i have ever seen.
justin's post-event interview reveals that this will most probably be the high point of his life.

justin 300
nathan 200
mike 100

for 14-year-old mike "boom boom" azzinaro, guts = being a contender

event two: wild pitch.
for the pre-even explanation, mike asks us to imagine the following pitcher(s) (this should be noted every time this--or any other baseball game--is played):
roger clemens

nathan and mike both seem to know that contact is key--they pick up on the nearly-unbeatable bunt technique, but nathan before mike. justin shows the world that he is indeed a competent baseball player, but skill in a sport doesn't always translate to the guts game that is derived from that sport. besides just employing the bunt technique before mike, nathan seemed to have better concentration while in the batter's box. he finishes with a commanding 19, handily defeating mike's 10 and justin's (quite respectable for non-bunting) 7.

for 13-year-old justing "terminator b" bellucci, guts = combat
what the hell is that? terminator b? was that really necessary? and one of the worst guts='s i've seen in a while.

event three: mad max.
mike's pre-rule description:
well, combat's good for our next event, because our next event is a post-nuclear race that really gets in your face. it's "mad max": a frantic dash through all sorts of terrain! --look out for the stray tires LETS GO TO MO FOR THE RULES--MO!

they used the prop-master's self-powered-tail-lights bike for this one. not exactly the best use of these three athletes, but, still, a fun and rare event-type never hurts an episode.
in a weird foreshadowing, mike warns about taking the course too fast right before justin goes. justin naturally goes too quickly and loses control, both costing him off-the-track penalties and forcing him to run into the side of the crash finish instead of through it at first. again--his 48/50 was indeed the high point of his life. it was all down hill from there.

nathan takes first with 17.5 seconds, mike second with 18.9, and justin third with a generous 26.6.

nathan 800
mike 500
justin 500

for 13-year-old "notorious" nathan welch, guts = controversy (which mo pronounces conTROversy [as opposed to CONtroversy])

event four: jump jump!

the dreaded fourth hurdle. for some reason, people never have problems with the second (although sometimes they miss the first--and usually they miss the second--aerial bridge) hurdle, even though in theory they should be equally as challenging. i guess it's a rhythm thing.
mike starts and as predicted does incur 5 second penalty for knocking down the fourth hurdle. 23 seconds even.
justin looks fantastic up until the first aerial bridge and then gets overexcited, coming off too fast. he winds up overshooting the third hurdle and he finds himself taking the fourth too quickly. he can't back out, and he crashes directly into it. he forgets that the game is not over, though, and lethargically hangs for almost a full second before trying to finish. 24.7.
nathan has trouble with the first bridge and gets spotter help. he too knocks the fourth hurdle down, and finishes with 45.6 (including the hurdle and two five-second assistant penalties).

going into the crag we have an unreal game. baring missed actuators we're in for one helluva ride.
nathan 900
mike 800
justin 700

as predicted, the crag is a memorable one. all three handle boulder canyon like it's child's play. three athletes at the peak shape of their guts-eligible lives scale our rock in near-perfect sync. they reach the final vertical-climb at nearly the same exact time--the entire game comes down to this. nathan reaches the top first, right as justin is slipping. he falls and mike takes advantage of the opportunity. he jumps ahead of justin to claim second.

nathan 1625
mike 1350
justin 1075

one of the greatest games i've ever seen played.

interesting turn in the hannah saga...

2007-07-15T18:40:00.000-07:00

a new development in the possible hannah montana shark-jumping. this week's episode ("when you wish you were the star" s2e5, even though it was the 13th shown of the season...) appeared to be ripe for the jumpin'--a trite "alternate universe" episode. the first commercial break, however, revealed that this episode was part of disney's "wish gone amiss" weekend. this new context excuses the episode's cliche plot, as long as the show manages to do something with it. and hannah did. the alternate universe provided great use of a guest star (jesse mccartney), excellent alternate personalities for all of the main characters, and it made way for the truly incredible rap duo of rico and oliver. seriously. (although the show's return to this shtick during the closing credits--while good at first--took a turn towards the absurd when they insisted on having the show's one regular black character, roxy, finish the closing rap by donning a flava-flav style clock and snapping while saying "peace out!" [another interesting note from today's episode: for the first time "roxy" briefly broke from her stereotypical ways and spoke in a normal voice, although it was rather brief.]) keep in mind, however, that this episode was the 5th of the season (from back when the season was still decent) and it simply aired out of order, so this may be a false hope.

other worthwhile observations from this week:

good observation by andy. during a very emotional scene, out of nowhere a crawl appears at the bottom. "penelope, 11, ca: i wish rico and i could play video games together!" that's all it said. nothing before, nothing after. it then disappeared. as far as we could remember, this was the only crawl all episode besides the normal post-commercial show-identifiers. amazing.

-----=====SPOILER BELOW=====-----

normally i wouldn't post about something this stupid, but given last week's discussion about hannah's diagetic violations of late i figured this was worth mentioning. hannah's way of getting out of the alternate universe once canon had established that she had already used her one and only wish--brilliant. absolutely brilliant. for those of you who have not seen it but who were not scared away by the spoiler alert:

miley wishes on a star to be hannah 24/7. hannah tries to wish back but she is told her one and only wish has been used. at the end of the episode, she has a kind-of heart-to-heart with the estranged "hermit" (they meant "hobo"), jackson, who then sees a shooting star and uses his one wish to get them back to our world.

they do a great job of keeping canon in tact, but in order to continue, all of our newer episodes--
(and this is nit-picky, and by no means this should actually happen nor am i faulting the show for breaking this, because, in sitcom form, plot flexibility to a certain degree is completely both allowed and required in order to keep interesting episodes around)
--should feature a jackson who has no memory of our world pre-miley's wish and only of the world where he was a "hermit." hannah, after all, had no memory of her new post-wish world while she was there (but she had maintained all skills learned in that world, like the ability to speak french). just a thought.

quick guts notes...

2007-07-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

1) who came up with the idea to call the first hurdle on the 'crag "boulder canyon," and how exactly did it happen? is it an o'malley contribution that stuck? or were there meetings about this?

2) we want to put together a guts record book (after a performance we saw today that we will discuss later--we're still breaking down footage). we're going to create a poster with all the event names and keep track of the best scores we see. it will probably take a full year or more of constant guts watching before we're ready to call it official, but we're ready for the challenge.

do you like your chili, scott?

2007-07-13T08:54:00.001-07:00

last night, as i sunk into my jet blue exit row seat (the most leg room in coach, mind you), i casually flipped on comedy central pre-takeoff, hoping to amuse myself for a moment before i was given my bliss spa sleep kit and employing it to its fullest extent. and you know what i discovered one of the most exciting feelings in the world is? turning on jet blue comedy central and seeing scott tennerman pouring a bag of "hair" into a pot of chili. for that means that i am mere moments away from eric cartman at his finest hour. and then the pilot came on.
for the next five minutes, the captain let me know my cruising altitude, a list of available snacks, the proper way to apply for a jet blue credit card while aboard, the weather in florida, and all of the other details about my flight i could ever and never imagine. he took over the public address and forced me to soundlessly watch as cartman gave the explanation of his greatest caper. have you ever tried to read a cartoon's lips? luckily, i have the entire scene memorized. ...but what if i didn't? what if this was my first time seeing "scott tennerman must die"? what if i was a young, impressionable youth just looking for a reason to laugh? a reason to love? a reason to live? i would like each of our loyal readers to please write a letter to jet blue asking for a manual p.a. override option to be installed on all of their jets. after all, what company could possibly ignore over three (3) strongly worded letters?

clark y miguel

2007-07-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

after a few episodes where c&m were relying too much on cera's impeccable timing and clark duke's dukeness and not enough on actually saying/doing anything funny, the boys finally pulled a doozie out of their patotties yesterday with episode eight. clark in a woman's blazer and glasses really does--as andy put it--look like a disgusting woman. and two fantastic cameos with todd and derek (or at least sam weir was fantastic--given the other guests thus far jonah hill was expected, but nonetheless necessary and worthy).
after the initial four episode honeymoon phase there was a period where, although i was recommending clark and michael to people, i would do it with the addendum that i too recognize that the show skates by on its laurels and that my tastes should not be judged by my liking of it. after episode eight, i will only give that warning for episodes five through seven and will once again resume being overall proud to be a fan of the show.

Poker

2007-07-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Mike O'Malley is playing in the 2007 World Series of Poker main event...the dollars have SKY ROCKETED for this event!!!

figure it out

2007-07-11T08:43:00.000-07:00

in an atypical rebellion on this morning's figure it out ("world downhill shovel racing champion"), tamborelli refused summer's goading into the secret slime action. what gives?

Nick Arcade

2007-07-10T12:45:00.001-07:00

Why do none of the contestants ever send Mikey on the quickest, most direct path to the Goal? Sometimes it's only a 4-square, direct shot there, but they insist on taking him up, down, left, and right all over the place so Phil has to zap him straight to the goal at the end of the round. Are they afraid of running into villains? Or do they just want to search for the points and prizes squares that are always off the beaten path? Are they just idiots?

entourage

2007-07-09T14:44:00.000-07:00

another waldo watcher should be updating shortly with a more in-depth look at the recent failures of entourage, but for now i would just like to ask: why bring back walsh? he was a pathetic, annoying character his first go-around, so why would they possibly give him a second try? for a show that many fans seem to think is getting repetitive, it was a horrible idea to bring back a character i think most of us were sick of before vince even became queens boulevard.

Moira Quirk standup

2007-07-09T00:34:00.000-07:00

What do we think about this?

hannah montana jumping the shark?

2007-07-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

despite how fantastic the second cd is, i'm thinking hannah has started to jump the shark.
a show creates a diagesis--a universe--that it must operate in. that diagesis can break every law of our universe, but the workings within that universe must obied by all of the laws of it. every episode of the seconds season (least so in the jake ryan hour long double, but even in that) has violated the rules of the hannah world, indirectly mostly. the show has abandoned the idea that its characters are logical and un-absurd (relatively speaking) in their non-pop star effected lives. to a much less severe extent, they are suffering from a syndrome that is related to the boy meets world collapse.
the stories are loose; there are too many obvious ways out of any created conflict. in tonight's episode ("sleepwalk this way," s2e13), for instance, someone could have reassured miley that she need not be worried until monday, and jackson could have pushed his party forward to a day before monday. those would greatly alter the main plot arch (their refusal to acknowledge these obvious flaws is a violation of the psudo-cannon that the characters are logical). even the small conflicts had too obvious yet still ignored solutions. they could/should have woken miley up during her tirade in class (and why is she adjusting her shirt while asleep? and coming up with witty, non-obvious retorts to kunkle's every word while asleep?), and jackson could have realized that when miley said she was awake she could not have been sleepwalking since she can only tell the truth when she is sleepwalking and therefore would have to say she was asleep (his failure to acknowledge this led to his clanking of pans and dumping water on miley for annoyingly trite comic relief).
sorry if this made no sense. i'm a bit flustered/frustrated.

i'm off to watch entourage. expect notes on that soon.

in search of chance...

2007-07-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

after the viacom cease and desist order was placed on youtube a few months back, i lost my favorite video of all time: worst guts contestant ever. it featured a young man named chance who was--by all accounts--truly the worst ever (even though he didn't finish in third...). if anyone knows where i can find this again, please let me know.

GUTS: nikki stewart (blue) v bianca alaimo (red) v t.j. simmons (purple)

2007-07-08T14:48:00.000-07:00

a blow by blow account of one of today's games

event one: aerial (elastic), rebound--

tj is suffering from the same fate as most males in the typical male/female/female game: weighing noticeably less than the females, victory in an elastic event is almost impossible. at the end, though, he seemed to notice this, and in a cut-off-the-nose-to-spite-the-face move, he began playing defense.

bianca's interview? she talks about the balls slipping out of her hands. no credit to t.j. despite his pathetic zero-rebound performance, i'm predicting victory for him.

biancia 300
nikki 200
t.j. 100

for 14-year-old "tricky nikki" stewart, guts=equality

event two: track (running), tornado run--

this one was extremely close, but again t.j. suffered from slow-development male woes. his upperbody strength (or lack thereof) got to him in the vines climb. another third place finish for him. having them run against each other instead of against the clock is always interesting to see.

bianca 600
nikki 400
t.j. 200

for 13-year-old bianca "the barbarian" alaimo, guts=uninhibited

event three: pool, hang 10--

nikki's up first. she's concentrating too much on hanging onto the board and not paying enough attention to the bouyies. still, she collected seven, but she could have benefited from using her hands more to maneuver herself.

bianca is second. she is using her stomach to hold on--as she should--and she is letting her arms do the dirty work. perfectly executed, she finishes with eight and takes the lead going into the last contestant's turn. this will be difficult for t.j. to match.

t.j. third. the determination in his eyes is fierce. he is using the right technique, but it is obvious that he is running out of stamina. he stayed still in the water at the end, practically giving up. six.

bianca 900
nikki 600
t.j. 300

t.j. needs to pick it up majorly in this last event if he even wants a shot at second.

for 12-year-old t.j. simmons, guts=living (yeah, right)

event four: field (elastic), fumble--

again, t.j. is suffering from being too young and too light. he can't even reach the footballs. still, though, it is obvious that he is the best pure athlete of the three, and he may take it home. nikki's lack of lower body strength is getting to her, but she picked it up at the end to finish with 5. bianca had 4, and t.j. finished in first with 10. he's back in the game.

bianca 1000
nikki 800
t.j. 600

THE AGGRO CRAG

i'm predicting a t.j. victory. ehrin is saying t.j. as well, since he's been picking up his game at the end. andy is also going with t.j. but notes that he seems like the type to miss an actuator. still, a second place finish is in his future.

bianca and t.j. handle boulder canyon very well, but bianca gets caught up in the snow. nikki is doing fantastically, but the rocks didn't fall, so it implies that she missed an actuator. wait--t.j. did as well! he finishes in third, nikki overcomes her miss and gets first, and bianca, who also missed one, finishes in second.
all three missing actuators? is that acceptable? it's a good thing the crag troll (as mike called the judge) was there to let them know.

bianca 1550
nikki 1525
t.j. 975

t.j. is an extreme disappointment. he can't even climb down the crag, so he almost misses the awards ceremony. pathetic. if anyone knows where we can find him on fbook or myspace, please post. he deserves hate mail.